Ned Ludd College of The Liberal Arts, Chalupeh County, WI:
Eschewing Spring Break as ‘just another Capitalist construct‘, the dedicated cadres of the local chapter of the Socialist Students for Justice and Free Tuition Party continued to have their Thursday and Saturday off-campus meetings at the Costner City Public Library. Until this Saturday, when all four members voted to disband the chapter after a startling revelation.
During a group reading of a section (Volume 20, pages 455-486) from Lenin: Collected Works (Progress Publishers, 1972, Moscow) the students made the shocking discovery that middle-class college students are to be considered a part of the Bourgeois Intelligentsia, and an active enemy of the Proletariat.
“This was the biggest shock of my life,” explained Indigenous Tribal Studies undergrad Brad Unterspaed. “I mean, Lenin did have a tendency to ramble a bit, you know? But it’s pretty clear in this chapter, especially the bit about ‘in which the utmost freedom, scope and clarity of the, class struggle are combined with the utmost cunning, with ruses and subterfuges aimed at spreading the “ideological” influence of the bourgeoisie among the wage-slaves with the object of diverting them from their struggle against wage-slavery.‘ Pretty clear, we are the Enemy of The People. I’ll admit I struggled a bit when Marx and Engels made some similar comments in The Communist Manifesto, but I sorta figured that was just translation errors from the original German. But here it is, from another source. I don’t really know what to do now.”
“This just totally blows,” lamented Political Science major Chelsea Schmidt-O’Mally. “I have a lot of time and money invested in my politically messaged wardrobe. And now, it’s all just so much scrap fabric. Worthless. I guess I’ll have to check out the Anarchists this week, maybe I can salvage something from my wardrobe by hanging with them. But no matter what, I’m keeping my Che Guevara t-shirt! I don’t care, I love that one too much!”