Local Couple Discovers Wine Now Available in Bottles

wine-available-in-bottlesSchawumpta, WI:

Ernest and Julia Galeux have long savored a fine Merlot or Chillable Red after their evening meal. And at lunch, breakfast and commercial breaks during their soaps. Their wine fridge is always well stocked with a wide variety of at least four different flavors. They felt they had reached the pinnacle of wine experience, only to find it a rather dry plateau.

Until this past weekend.

“Jules saw it right off, in the aisle across to the hard stuff at Ray’s Rapid-Shop,” Mr. Galeux told our own Flying Car News Team. “Ray told us he’d just set up the display that same morning. A selection of more wine than you could shake a stick at, and – get this – in bottles instead of boxes! Don’t that beat all?”

“Well of course we’d seen them fancy bottles before, but only in fancy-pants restaurants, and down by the Beer’N’Steer,” Mrs. Galeux added. “But who would ever thought of having it in the home in that way? I swear this world is movin’ faster than a hungry badger chasin’ the cheese truck!”

When asked their opinion of the new packaging, the Galeux duo were not impressed. “Well of course we had to try one of them things, even with the sky-high pricing. Sort of a treat, yanno?” continued Mr. Galeux. “But I’ll tell ya, they got some more work to do on quality control. Took me damn near an hour to drill out this bit of soggy balsa wood someone done stuck down in the bottle neck! After that, we weren’t none too interested in tryin’ a snort. If they got crazy goings-on like that at their factory, heavens knows what else made it into that bottle!”

About The Big Bater 131 Articles
From his cliffside villa near the apex of Mount Landfill on the outskirts of Schawumpta, WI, The Big Bater keeps a keen eye on world events both real and imagined, striving to provide the freshest satire available on the planet. Or off.