Publisher unveils ‘MyBook’, Custom Version of Bible or Quran Edited to Reflect Buyers Viewpoints

President Trump, one of the earliest MyBook customers

New York, NY:

Publishing house Simone & Shyster has long been an industry leader in the field of ‘just-in-time’ and self publishing. Recently, flattening growth in their field brought on by rapidly increasing competition spurred the company to explore new opportunities outside of their established niche. And if preliminary sales ar any indication they caught the brass ring with a new venture, the MyBook: A custom-printed version of either the bible or the quran, revised and edited to more closely match the views and opinions of the purchaser, based on an extensive on-line personality profile.

“This is really a long-needed accoutrement for members of the faith-based community, and those just beginning their spiritual journey,” Simone & Shyster marketing flak Alberta Ontario told our own Flying Car News Team. “One of the biggest stumbling blocks anyone encounters as they begin to embrace a new faith, is when they discover nearly all of them include what some would call quite restrictive rules and guidelines. Often enough to be a deal-killer before getting out of the starting gate. the MyBook eliminates that hurdle completely.

The process to your own MyBook is quite simple. You can purchase it online or order it through one of several book retailers. After purchase the first step is logging into our website and completing our comprehensive personality profile. The results are tabulated and fed into our Electric Monk v2.3 Verse Processor, which then crafts your choice of holy book, perfectly tailored to your preferences and viewpoints. The completed file is transmitted directly to our ‘just-in-tim’ printing facility, bound, and shipped off to you within 72 hours. All for the low low price of $49.95″

Ms Ontario then showed us a finished copy of a MyBook bible. “This one is based on my own profile, and it’s almost painfully well suited to my lifestyle.” she said. “Here, take a look at this…” She quickly thumbed through the tome. “This one. Exodus 20:12, or the fifth out of the Ten Commandments. My personalized version reads:

‘Thou shalt not leacheth off thy relatives Netflix account without offering adequate recompense’

So you can see, we can all have holy scripture relative to our modern lives, reflecting our personal views. What could be more inclusive than that?”

We asked Ms Ontario if there were plans to expand the concept to other religions. She gave us a sly grin. “Well, our R&D team is working on one now, but it’s a tough nut to crack. We hope to reach out soon to the Scientologists. Can you imagine a juicier peach? Our initial model is a monthly subscription plan, starting at $99.95 per month, with potential upsells. We’re quite excited about it.”


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From his cliffside villa near the apex of Mount Landfill on the outskirts of Schawumpta, WI, The Big Bater keeps a keen eye on world events both real and imagined, striving to provide the freshest satire available on the planet. Or off.