National Hurricane Center to Begin Naming Hurricanes After Comic Book & Movie Villains

nws-names-hurricanes-after-villainsMiami, FL:

The National Hurricane Center (NHC), self-described ‘Action Jackson‘ arm of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), today announced the first major change in the naming of Eastern North Pacific and Gulf of Mexico storm lists since 1978-1979, when the NHC stopped using exclusively female names. Starting in 2018, storms will be named from a list of comic book and movie villains.

“It was a needed change, to keep up with a changing society,” said NHC Director of Predictive Nomenclaturization Oswald Theremin during a press conference on the current storm situation, from the NHC head office in Miami. “Let’s just address the big elephant in the room, OK? Names like ‘Chad’ or ‘Phyllis’ don’t exactly instill terror in the heart of your average citizen. These storms are some bad hombres, and the name should reflect that.”

Mr. Theremin went on to detail the evolving process that will be used to choose future storm names. “We’ll still be using an alphabetical list, just like always. And we will make every effort to maintain a fair balance of gender inclusivity in the naming process. Our team has already finalized a list that should fulfill our needs for the 2018 season. And that was not easy, let me tell you! We have a larger-than-average percentage of comics and movie geeks in our staff. In fact, we had to resort to several Beer Pong duels to reach final consensus.”


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Noted science aficionado and conspiracy theorist John 'Tinfoil' Acheson currently helms our Science Desk. John works tirelessly to bring you the latest wonders from the cutting-edge world of science and technology, WHO is really responsible, and WHY.