New ‘Ebony Alert’ System Warns Subscribers of Black Cats Potentially Crossing Their Path

ebony-alert-splashSalem, MA:

Today, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in conjunction with a consortium of private partners, unveiled the new Ebony Alert System (EAS), designed to protect the average citizen from the potential detrimental effects brought on by a black cat crossing one’s path.

Utilizing a cadre of volunteer spotters (informally referred to as The Hairball Brigade) who are continuously entering cat sighting data on a 24/7 basis, subscribers can choose to receive a Sighting Alert on their mobile device or computer at one of three levels, utilizing the subscriber’s GPS location: Light Ash (sighting within a five mile radius), Darker Shade of Gray (sighting within a 1.5 mile radius) and the top level of Pitch Black (sighting within a quarter mile radius).

The system will display the last known location of the reported feline, and suggest alternate safe routes to avoid intersecting the kitty of doom.

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