Undisclosed private island, The Maldives:
In an unprecedented move, Internet princes Jeff Bezos (founder and CEO of Amazon) and Mark Zuckerberg (founder and CEO of Facebook) today announced that despite a complete lack of any musical training, experience and arguably talent, they have formed a new pop duo, ‘Bezerberg‘, and will be releasing their first album next week exclusively via Amazon, followed up by a month-long ‘virtual nationwide tour‘ to be broadcast via Facebook Live.
The billionaire duo discussed their inspiration and their plans exclusively with our own Flying Car News Team, via a Skype conversation from their secret multi-million dollar recording studio, built last week on an undisclosed private island in The Maldives.
The self-titled premiere album is a compilation of covers featuring numbers originally performed by Simon and Garfunkel, Hall and Oates, and, inexplicably, The Beastie Boys.
“Hey, why re-invent the wheel, right?” said Bezos. “We really think we have a winning combination here. Why, in focus group studies conducted at each of our companies, we found a nearly 97% highly positive response to our beta EP. Of course, we dealt with that other three percent appropriately.”
“I gotta admit, auto-tune has been our friend. Our really good friend. With benefits. Practically an intimate lover. I’ve so fallen in love with the technology, I bought the two biggest auto-tune developers this morning. I see a sweet little monopoly in the making there. Oh geez, I’m not supposed to say that out loud, am I?” Mr Zuckerberg quipped.
The titanically wealthy team have high hopes for this first release. “You can bet your sweet li’l bippie this will be popping up in your Facebook feed every day,” remarked Mr. Zuckerberg.
“And by utilizing the Mandatory Purchase Clause in the Amazon User Agreement, we’ll be topping the charts within hours,” added Mr. Bezos.